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07 March 2009 @ 12:19 pm
Title: Just Not Fair
Archive: Entslash
Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise
Category: slash
Rating: G
Pairing: Archer/Reed
Warning: cross dressing
Summary: The reason Trip is assigned to scrubbing out the engine room with his toothbrush.
Disclaimer: The show and its characters belong to Paramount. No profit is being made from this story and no infringement is intended.
Author's notes: for MJ, happy belated birthday.

I don’t understand why Jonny is making me scrub the entire engine room with my toothbrush. After all, I just did what he asked me to do - find a way to make Mal’s second birthday on ship special. Which I did and all it took was a bribe, a bit of finagling, and a compatriot in crime.

I bribed Phlox into giving Mal time in decon as long as I found a way to make the reason he was going in believable. Then I went to find Travis and after some fancy footwork and a bit of flattery, I got him to agree to help me. Heck, he even volunteered an hour of his time where he’d be stuck waiting in the storage bay until Mal came along, but he did agree!

Getting Mal to go into the storage bay while Trav was still there wasn’t easy, but I managed that too. Got it so the guy would walk under where Trav was hiding and thus be covered by the harmless liquid, which the doctor could use as an excuse to make Mal go into decon. Was it my fault that Jonny was right next to Malcolm when Travis “accidentally” tripped over the container, causing its contents to spill over both men? Was it my fault Jonny was enjoying a “lingerie” day and was wearing his favourite silk panties and bra, the ones trimmed with lace? And his garter belt and fishnet stockings? Was it my fault that Phlox insisted that Jonny had to go into decon too?

No. It wasn’t. It wasn’t my fault Jonny got sent into decon with Mal. It wasn’t my fault that he had to strip down to his lingerie as Mal stripped down to his boxers. It wasn’t my fault that Phlox started to take notes as he observed what happened after Jonny and Mal stripped down. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t stop the doc from publishing his notes and sending a vid out entitled Unusual Human Mating Rituals. And it isn’t my fault that the vid has become the most popular thing to come out since Harry Potter the Third and The Prodigal Dragon.

But that’s why Jonny is making me scrub all the surfaces in the engine room with my toothbrush and there’s a hell of a lot of surfaces here. It just isn’t fair. Especially since he’s really enjoying what’s resulted because of what I did. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. Even though I’m trapped down here “out of the loop” as it were. And it’s probably why I’ve been “asked politely” by Jonny and Mal’s neighbours to please put up soundproofing in their respective quarters as soon as I can. Which is why it just isn’t fair Jonny is making me do this. It just isn’t.